when i was like 5, my oldest brother, who’s 12 years older than me, taught me some ‘spanish’ phrases, and he said that ‘suck my dick’ meant ‘i am cool’ in spanish, and then told me to tell my other brother, who’s 11 years older than me, the new phrase

so just picture a 5 year old walking up to you and saying ‘suck my dick’

yeah so that’s basically the summary of how my childhood was

can i put ‘patrol in 5th grade’ on my resume? or even my college applications?

do you ever think about a friend you have that you think might be actually successful one day, and maybe even famous cause they’re actually pretty attractive and talented and you think about hoarding a url of their name so you’ll be tumblr famous once they’re actually famous